8 Agony Aunts

The society's transition from conservative to modern is accompanied by resistance from conservative people. The conservative people innately indifferent to changes happening in society begin to question others. The questions generally begin with ‘why’. Whenever people deviate from conventional ways or embrace newer ideas they come under the scrutiny of these conservative people. It is these very people who constitute the Agony-aunt group.

The Agony-aunt group consists of a large group of people in Kerala who try to fix others with their constant questioning and useless advising. They want conformist people. In common man’s terminology they are called 'nattukar and veettukar'.

People belonging to the Agony-aunt group are predominantly a set of people who live in 1950s and whose mindsets had been shaped by the happenings in the said period. Either they are ignorant of the changes happening around or the very thought of opening up to new ideas or ways of living makes them uncomfortable. The defining characteristics and principles upheld by these group of people are as follows.

• People should choose a safe and secure profession
  
  
• Religion and religious practices should not be questioned
• The sevenfold path to attain moksha according to agony aunts consists of the following- (i) secure good marks in exams, (ii) pass the entrance examination, (iii) get an engineering degree, (iv) get a secure job, (v) marry, (vi) have kids and (vii) Repeat the same cycle with your kids
  
  
• Never ask a person what he loves doing, but always advise him what to do
  
  
• They take pride in saying that their ward has a good job without realising that he or she might hate his or her profession 
   
• Girls must be married of as early as possible
  
  
• They never follow the true principles of the religion they uphold, but always go to church and want others to do the same
  
  
• According to agony aunts, thinking about something other than engineering or medicine is a sin in the 21^st century.
  
  
• They like people who live for satisfying society, but disregard people who follow their dreams.
  
  
• Pressurize people with expectation.
  
  
• Stereotype people, anyone who doesn't conform to their stereotyping is deviant.
  
  
• They love the agony of people who doesn't listen to their advice.
  
  
• They are unhappy to see happiness in the life of people who doesn't listen to their advice.
  
  
• Most importantly whenever one does something unconventional they ask 'why'.

7 How to identify a broi

With the arrival of globalisation, modernity and mass media, different ways of life are increasingly being adopted or imitated by the youth of the day. Whether this is due to their thirst to catch the attention of others, due to an identity crisis or due to the excessive influence of media is still a matter of contention. For the time being I shall limit my discussion just to explain a peculiar group of people who call themselves chunkz or freaks and roam around in the cities of Kerala.

Since there is much difficulty in bringing the whole set of yoyo guys under the ambit of a universal definition we can only explain the characteristics that will enable one to identify a broi from a crowd.

A typical Broi is one who exhibits two or more characteristics mentioned below.

• They write in alternate capital and small letters on social media.
• The easiest way to become a bro is not to bathe for a week, not to comb your hair, if possible use a hair band.
• These people wear colourful costumes. Blue shirt, yellow pants, red shoes, white belt. They try to be exhibit as many colours of the spectrum as possible.
• They greet each other by saying bro, chunk...
• These guys always carry a camera or mobile phone with them and click pictures, especially selfies no matter wherever they go. In other words, they are always ready for a photo session.
• Profile pictures of yoyo boys will always be photo shopped or edited with extra brightness, extra colour.
• They are always online
• They have no job, no income and no asset.
• They don’t know how to talk but know how to chat; they never use their brain but always use their fingers.
• Active in virtual world, passive in real world.
• Use word such as F88k, yo, whazup, pWolichu, LoL…

6 Conspicuous consumption

Three examples of conspicuous consumption are dealt in this chapter- Marriages, funerals, dwellings and luxury vehicles.

Cards Camera Costumes and Catering

We have often come across the expression “Marriages are made in heaven”. Today while attending marriage ceremonies I get the feeling that I am standing right in the middle of a cinema set or studio. More than marriages, the ceremonies’ focus has now become on four ‘C’s- Cards, cameras, costumes and catering. By a simple observation of the four ‘C’s we can understand the milieu of the present society.

Different types of wedding cards are available in the market which varies in shape, size, texture and design. In earlier times while selecting a wedding card people checked the weight of the card to ensure that the postage charges won’t cross the threshold of what one can afford. However, today people check how colourful, heavy and fancy the wedding invitation is, blatantly disregarding the fact that the ultimate destination of the card is the trash can.

Cameras and corollary gadgets have come to occupy the central stage of wedding functions today. Lights, cranes and other accompanying equipment virtually block the view of guests at a wedding. Again, similar to the fate of the cards, the over-the-top wedding photo-shoot and videography which record the ceremony event by event will be watched by very few, mostly the immediate family members of the groom and bride. Even worse is the direction. Today marriages are often directed and controlled by cameramen and videographers. These very people decide what the groom, bride and guests should do. The videographers are there to capture the moments of the ceremony without spoiling the decorum of the function not the other way around. There have been instances where these ‘directors’ of the wedding movies were taken by the newly married couple along with them to video graph their honeymoon.

Wedding dresses is another area where people spend a huge amount of money lavishly- all this for just a single day. Often one has witnessed beautiful girls turned into the most miserable-looking creatures by the magic wand of beauticians. At weddings one can see beautiful girls with wall putty all over their face and decorated with gold from head to toe making them look like elephants at Trissur pooram festival. Also, why so many dishes for a simple wedding? Tonnes of food are wasted after each wedding in Kerala. Makes you wonder if people are nowadays invited for wedding or for participating in a food fest. Often more than eating, people taste everything and eat nothing.

Funerals

Funeral services in earlier times in Kerala society were characterised by rituals and prayers among other things. Nowadays, more than rituals, the emphasis seems to be on showing how rich one is. Large sized pictures of the deceased in newspapers, air conditioned, specially designed hearse vehicles to carry the dead, live streaming of the rituals and distribution of posters carrying the pictures of the deceased seem to be the latest trend of funeraldom. Apart from these, newspaper ads appear soon after the funeral thanking everyone for participating in the solemnities and making the same a 'grand success'.

There are several indispensible items that are necessary to conduct a funeral service in an ideal way. First among them is a mobile mortuary. Soon after one is dead the immediate query is regarding the availability of mobile mortuary. With the arrival of mobile mortuary we have successfully commenced ‘cry day’- where an entire day is spent by people sitting near the corpse, watching, and visitors paying homage to the dead. Mobile mortuary has turned out to the best innovation that enables man to mourn for the dead along with the dead. Apart from this, mobile mortuary has become a status symbol for many of us. In future we may witness decorated and designed mobile mortuaries which will be priced differently.

For some folks a grant advertisement would definitely help in the deceased to acquire moksha. The notification announcing the death in newspaper itself has become an indicative of one’s status. For some people giving a large size newspaper advertisement carrying the portrait of the deceased is a prestige issue.

A disciple asked Jesus Christ once “Lord let me go and bury my father first”. But Jesus replied “You follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead”. (Matthew 8:22).People are getting busy as time advances. At the same time the length of funeral services keeps on increasing along with the pomp associated with the same. People are sad when their dear ones are lost especially when they are lost through a tragedy, but the grandiose functions are not something that the deceased might have wanted.

Funerals nowadays serve another purpose of increasing social solidarity. It has become a place where people meet each other after a long time. Crying and mourning are nowadays meant to be only for the immediate relatives of the deceased. For others these functions are no more than a place to meet and talk and for some others it is just a waste of time.

Dwellings, Luxury vehicles

Dwellings in Kerala appears to be an area where people are willing to spent enormous amount of money wastefully. Often I have noticed huge dwellings constructed without anyone staying in it. This is the most manifest form of conspicuous consumption in god’s own country.

Why are residences so big?

While traveling through the countryside of Kerala people come across huge dwellings with luxury cars parked in front of it. Besides these cars and houses, public roads,  buildings, government offices and public spaces are in the most pitiful state of affairs. In Kerala we only have individual prosperity. Individual prosperity has led to increased consumption and increased standard of living and consequently to conspicuous consumption. We are the only state in India where poverty is inconspicuous. In fact we are not poor but the very transitional nature of our society is making us myopic. In a house where there are only a few to live what’s the point in having so many rooms? The reason is that we construct houses to show others that we have money and often forget the fact that dwellings are for shelter.  With the sudden rush of money people consume more, often in an extravagant manner and we often invest in wrong places. More than considering houses as a place to live and giving prominence to interior designing, many are interested in making homes with beautiful frontage and view conveniently forgetting the fact that it is ultimately for the wellness of its residents.

Luxury vehicles

Having a posh vehicle is something every Keralite dreams of. To be frank, considering the quality of our roads, it has become a requisite if you want to travel comfortably on the roads of Kerala. Owning a vehicle without using the same has become a norm in  Kerala. Often while walking through the beautiful countryside I have seen cars in front of houses lying idle. More than its utilitarian value people are looking at cars as a status symbol.

With increased disposable income, people have started investing in all the wrong things and value money more than anything else. Economic considerations will begin to override all other factors and consumerism will begin to pave the way to hedonism…

State awards and popularity

Recently a Dalit student of the University of Hyderabad committed suicide terming his birth an accident. There are certain other people in our world who by virtue of their birth are parachuted into highest points in the hierarchy and one among them is this year’s Kerala state best actor award winner Dulqer Salman.

Compared to the other industries, the Malayalam film industry has created hits without resorting to unrealistic stunts and action sequences. Till some years back the state awards were chosen based on merit rather than popularity of the actor. Of late, especially last two years, state awards for best actor and actress have gone to popular actors rather than ‘real actors’. Popularity overrode merit. Considering we have a minister who cannot spell out the name of the award winners properly this should be no cause for wonder.

Why has Dulqer Salman been chosen for the award and that too for Charlie?

Consider some of the hit movies by Dulqer- Bangalore days, NPCB, Charlie, Abcd, Ustad Hotel…

The role of Dulqer in all movies is the one that everyone aspires to be, but for many far from reality. All his movies show him in exactly the same role. The guy never shaves and has four centimetre long facial hair maintained randomly, always wears a T- shirt be it any occasion(In Charlie pavada was introduced), the hair style is always the same as he wakes up in the morning and always talks Manglish. Dulqer might not even have entered the film industry had he not been an actor’s son. Overall, giving a state award to an actor known for playing the same kind of character is a pity.

This trend of giving out best actor award based on popular reception rather than merit started with last year’s awards ceremony and the same has hampered the sanctity associated with the award. Another example is Nazriya Nazim who won the best actress award last year. To be frank, this has lowered the Kerala state film awards to the standard of several third rate film award shows conducted by television channels to reap huge profits.

5 Materialism

“Run after money, for you will never get it”

An ideal society for an average Keralite is American society. The great Kerala dream has now become

        “Study in IIT, secure a job in US and live there happily ever after”

Perhaps there are more

        “Secure a safe and high paying job, buy a luxury car, built a large house, and always be ahead of my neighbour”

The root cause or the driving force behind these dreams is materialism-an imported value of the west. Materialism essentially refers to the way of thinking that gives too much importance to material possessions rather than to spiritual or intellectual things. Amassing of wealth will naturally lead to the increase in consumption. When amount of wealth accrued is high cash spent on unwanted stuffs also increases. Then the dominant values of society changes to materialism. Society moves from conservative to rational or from eastern to western culture.

The western societies place high status on people owning large chunk of money and material possessions which at least according to them will bring happiness. The influence of mass media, social networks, and urban culture all leads to imitation of western culture.

As mentioned earlier when wealth accumulates people begin to forget the past and start spending lavishly assuming that the price of agricultural commodities will stay as it is forever. This is especially true when the wealth flow is newfound. (As the Malayalam proverb says “alpanu aishwaryam kittiyal ardharathiyilum kudapidikkum”). The newfound wealth and accompanying consumerist culture gradually gives way to conspicuous consumption. Huge houses, Luxury cars, luxurious ceremonies, funerals, get-togethers, changing food patterns, festivals which have become on show today are exhibitions of materialistic culture and boastfulness. The trickle-down effect in the true sense happens when the poor starts to imitate the dominant ideology of the rich.

Numerous facets of conspicuous consumption that have come to dominate our society are dealt in the subsequent chapters.

4. Reasons behind transition

The arrival of prosperity and concomitant materialism

Prosperity breeds transition, transition from non-materialistic culture to materialistic culture. The arrival of globalisation, free market had affected agricultural and services sector of Kerala economy heavily. On the services front with the help of IT sector young engineers earned good money. On the other hand the immediate impact that globalisation had on the agricultural produce has led to the drop in prices of various agricultural products such as rubber, pepper … has led to misery of farmers. Land cost remained stable.

Globalisation has offered large number opportunities for young graduates especially in the software sector. This has in turn resulted in the accumulation of money in the hands of youngsters. The new-found money caused consumption culture to rise and flourish.

Setting apart the initial fall in the prices of different agricultural produce the farmers subsequently reaped the benefits of globalisation. The price of agricultural produce such as pepper and rubber has also seen huge increase in a short span of time and the same with regard to fall in price. This sky rocketing of prices for agricultural produce in a short span of time led to sudden prosperity of different regions. The accumulation of large sums of money suddenly into the hands of farmers who haven’t seen or managed such a huge sum of money has caused materialistic culture to flourish.

The manufacturing sector in Kerala remained comparatively apathetic to the phenomenon of globalisation.

Sudden prosperity always leads to changes in social behaviour. People neither have past experience nor have good management skills to manage the sudden prosperity. The only ethic that guides people appears to be the amount of disposable income that one has. The income is disposed as soon as it is amassed. Materialistic pursuits and consumption culture starts to dominate the society about which I shall deal in the subsequent chapters.

3.Manifestation of anomie

Transitional society’s anomy is manifested in all walks of life. Materialism seems to be the driving force behind this situation. High aspirations, increased unemployment, increasing female workforce, night life, pub culture, deteriorating quality of education, unscrupulous politicians, feminist movements, LGBT movement, increasing privacy, more leisure time, influence of mass media, moral policing etc. are indeed the characteristics of the transitional Kerala society. As it is these factors may contribute to the good or bad of the society but accompanying these transitions new norms are yet to crystallise or rather, they are in the making. Thus man is confronted with the dilemma what side he should take the modern or the traditional. Let’s look into an example which caught national attention that took place in Kerala which was a conspicuous example of anomie or the transitional nature of Kerala society.

Moral policing and Kiss of love

The event kiss of love -originated in Kerala and captured the attention of the whole nation- was in fact a reaction to the increasing moral policing that have recently become a pathogen on the educated Kerala society. The reason that the event caught national attention was due to rise of intolerant right wing groups and since this was the first outburst by the public or the post modernisers of the day. State’s failure to take action against the moral policing has inevitably culminated in the reactionary event.

On one hand the religious leaders and political parties clandestinely or overtly opposed the movement as it was against the accepted norms and customs of our society whereas right wing outfits have openly challenged the event and finally the event whether a success or not have shown us that there are people in our society who dares to challenge the authority overtly. While this is a positive element that I support the way they have chosen to speak against a social evil is not something that I endorse. Perhaps the success of the event itself was due to the method adopted by the protesters which was sure to bring the wrath of conservatives.